joeyeffincahill

You've always had my eyes, I'd just yet to see,
You're beautiful, you're everything.

Just when everything felt right.

Everyone is telling me we can't just be friends.
Everyone is telling me how I'm still in love.
Everyone is telling me that I'm insane,
Clinging blindly to what I once had,
While losing sight of what now can be mine.
But these hands I seek, are not hers.
This heart that beats, is not hers.

You fucking destroyed me,
after I destroyed myself.
And now, I am finally whole.

So on two fronts, everyone's wrong.
I savor this friendship, it's putting me back together,
And I'm the sanest I've ever been.
As for the third, I'll take my time.

I've felt this way before,
But it went so fucking wrong.
It's so vulnerable, so full,
So open to attack and to sudden defeat.
I wanted to say so much, as we silently exchanged
The smallest pieces of everything we've become.
I wanted to hold your hand so tight that it became my own.
I wanted to be your deepest breath, your beating chest.
You apologized, as you moved that extra inch
Just to be by my side
You held me tight, as we struggled to escape
The knots tied throughout my broken lines.
You told me things would change,
As you staggered to a smile.
You closed the door,
And held true to your word

'Cause nothing's felt the same.

And when the wind would blow
We were safe and warm below
Not even one would know this sacred hand I held.
Under the weight of snow
This winter took it's toll
I thought you made me whole, but how was I to tell
That I was just cold
Now I'm shaking in this suffocating mold
And it's getting old
I've wasted you, now you're forcing me to fold.

I fucking hate this sinking ground,
The hell that it covers,
And the feet it surrounds.
But as my faith is pulling down,
I'll scream for another,
And hope to be found.

I know when something is really wrong
By my inability to write about it.

Something really needs to change,
One of these days, ask me why I referred to you as the rain.

I've always loved the rain.
It's not just the hue of the sky, or the sound that it makes when it falls,
But more the idea behind the overall feeling of the day.
I figure, while most others find pain in the grayer days,
their sadness leaves all of the happiness in the world for the taking.
So why not let today be gray?
On this, the memory of a day that has bettered the lives of all that it's passed,
My heart has learned to grow, and I have grown to understand it.

There are no fucking exceptions,
I'm sorry, Jiminy, I should have listened.

Tonight, I caught myself staring,
This is so much more to me than I could have imagined.

I need you more than you know.

Hello, two years ago
You brought me to a fork in the road.

Last night, I drank like a fish.
This morning, I tipped the rest of my cash at breakfast
And then I sat by the water contemplating
Whether or not to become one.
It's crazy how a split second decision
Can split you so easily off of the proper path.
Lately, though, this path has been a fucking disaster.
I'm empty, I'm broken, I'm stupid, I'm evasive,
I'm rotten, I'm cold, and I'm fucking tired.
I'm sick of these empty metaphors
I'm sick of the same discussions
I'm sick of my hypocrisy, and
I'm sick of watching everything I've ever cared about pull away from me
Even though I'm pushing it.
I was learning to love again,
I think.
I was learning to live again,
I think.
And now I'm learning again how to rot inside my walls.

I want to drive a stake into the heart of my originality.
I want to be plain, I want to be simple, I want to forget, and to be forgotten.
I want better dreams, better sleep, better casual conversation.
I want real friends that I don't have to drink around to enjoy.
I want my best friend back, but I want him to be happy.
I want to never drink again, I want to be fucking normal.
And above anything else, I want you.

Everything is rotting from the inside out,
You were supposed to be the sky.

Today ended the slow motion collision
Of a hardened heart met a work of art.
Today, I forced a smile.
Until I couldn't move my eyes,
Like all light had been sucked from the sky
And focused clumsily on that little irritated smile
As it slowly made it's way towards the door
And out of sight.

I burn to keep you bright,
But you turn me from your sight.

:)

This air is laced with must,
I spent too long in just one place.
Waist deep in wasted lust,
From hands that can't find their home.
My tongue had tasted trust,
And sprinted past, too fast to face.
Two faces bend and break,
Two hands each grab a lace.
They were caked with dust,
But their sole's as hard as bone.

This is just the static between
Episodes of things I actually give a shit about.
I needed you, I fucking told you what I was,
And you let me rot here, unrequited.
My sky has burned to dead air,
This is radio silence,
This is static.

Today ended the slow motion collision
Of a subtle tear met a wondered stare
Today, I want to be fucking invisible

My rotten hands have only their touch,
I've been waiting, oh I've been waiting
Where were you when I needed to fucking breathe?
You're painted thin, your color's dimmed
Below, I could have said so much
Instead I put my eyes to the ground
You've always needed me

And I'll chalk it up to a memory.

Tonight, I was really alive
And the first thought in my head was how
I couldn't wait to come home and tell you everything


Holy shit, this is real.